I haven't been here lately. Why? I'm really not sure. Partly because time flies and I haven't seemed to be able to get here. Largely because my family is working off 1 computer now and with my hubby home, he has to have access as well. And partly because I haven't been to sure of what I was going to say.
Honestly, I haven't done very well lately. I made it through January and decided feb. 1st would be my treat day, and then it went into the weekend, and now I'm having a very hard time getting back on track. WHY?? I don't know. I so do not want to be in this bondage anymore. I hate it. I hate the sin. I hate the embarrassment. I just wish I could figure out how to break through. It seems that once it's in my head, all the reasons I have for changing my life fly out the window. I can't think of stuff like the fact that I'm killing myself with this addiction. Or that I don't honor god or my husband with the way I look. Or that I desire to jump around and have fun when I preach, but I can barely speak without getting out of breath. It seems that none of htis is strong enough when I'm thinking about food. What is it that has me tied so tightly that I have no sense of reason over food - something that should mean little or nothing to me is actually consuming my whole life.
I'm not giving up. I do not want my life to continue this way. I even went and found an accountability person thinking that was my next step, but I haven't called her or anything even once. If you read this and you believe that Jesus is the Son of God, please pray for me. I need breakthrough and I know God is able to bring me through. Don't give up. God's not finished yet.