Why is it that when we're doing well, we want everyone to know and when we're failing, we keep it to ourselves? It's been 2 weeks since I've written. I'm always suprised at how fast time goes by, but I know the last week, I've avoided blogging because I want to say something better than what I have to say. However, my husband says it's about my failures as well as my successes so here I am to tell the world that I failed this week.
Wow. Why does that word bring a feeling of shame? Let me rephrase that - I don't believe that we ever really fail if we keep our walk in Jesus because "we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." I have not failed because here I am to write about it and learn from it. A more accurate statement would be that I have struggled greatly the past 2 weeks and had almost given up the last couple of days.
2 weeks ago I was doing okay with my eating. I had increased my calories somewhat and when I would go over, I simply stopped writing in my food journal. Last weekend we had an event to do, so I was out all day and gave in to the urge to eat mall food - not low in calories or high in nutrition! But I shared with a friend my struggle and how I was needing accounatability to get through this time in my journey. That friend offered to be my accountability. They are very disciplined in what they eat and we made an agreement that I would show him my food journal on Fridays. But by Sunday I was standing at the fridge eating, with something in the microwave and looking for something else - OLD behavior. So I threw away all the bad or tempting food I found and prepared to get back on track. This week started much better. In fact, I had a great week for the most part - I fit in cardio every day, I strength trained Tuesday and Thursday, I kept my food journal. But I'm struggling to bring my eating back to the guidelines I had before. I went over on my calories a little Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Thursday we had a mandatory meeting at work that didn't end til after 9 p.m. We were hungry and pizza is my weekness. As soon as my hubby suggested it, it stuck in my head. I ate my whole days calories at dinner that night. Friday I did great and decided to cut back daily intake to make up for the pizza. But then I didn't measure dinner so I probly went over again.
But Saturday is when my trouble began. I was up early and tired when I got home. The desire to eat was so strong that I didn't even try to fight it. I was in a fashion show at Fashion Bug. I guess since it's a large size store they treat models different - they had breadsticks, ziti, zmoothies, etc. I told myself over and over before I went that I would maintain. In fact, the last one I was at, I didn't eat ANYTHING the entire time. This time was not so good. And when I came home I kept eating - most of the day I ate. I hated what I was doing. Finally I came clean with my husband and told him EVERYTHING I had eaten and all my behaviors. I've never been completely honest like that before. I wanted him to be aware of what was happening. I don't want to go backwards and I don't want to disappoint him either.
Today we had a dinner at church - I honestly dread things like that because it's so hard to keep control with people pushing you to eat more, more, more. Today ended up like yesterday. And then I reached a point where I just cried out to God. The thoughts kept saying wait til tomorrow, but I couldn't wait anymore. The bible talks about a empty house and 7 more returning with the one that left. I know people have different opinions on deliverance, but I personally have felt freedom in my eating and how much harder it was to resist when I gave in the to temptations. I have felt 7 times stronger and I never want to be there again. So I cried out to God to help me. I don't want to desire food. I want to only eat when I need food. My first thought on bloggin was to wait until tomorrow when I have positive things to say, but James 5:16 says "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
So here I am confessing that I need prayer. Confessing my struggles, my downfalls, and my desires. Making myself accounatble to others. I'm not giving up, I'm reaching out. I was flipping through TV the other day and caught a portion of Pulp Fiction. Samuel Jackson and John Travolta were in an apartment dealing with 3 guys for something. Samuel Jackson picks up this guys fast food burger and says he's always wanted to try this restaurant. He takes a bite and offers it to John Travolta who says, "I'm not hungry." Most people think nothing of that, but to me it was monumental. THAT's my prayer. That food would not even be the slightest thought unless I was actually hungry! Father, the next time I desire food, let me remember to notice whether or not I'm actually hungry. Amen.
If you're reading this and you have a relationship with the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob - please say I prayer for me.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Rest Creates Growth
"And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done." Genesis 2:2
Rest is important. In fact, the Bible instructs us to take a day off every week to rest. Did you know that professional trainers recommend resting from workouts also? I love when the world lines up with the Word! My PT (personal trainer) recommends a week off every 4 months. I did some internet searching and others recommend as much as a week of every 2 - 3 months. Whether you take your break after 2, 3, or 4 months - most people agree you rest for 7 days; no weight or strength training of any kind. 7 days of rest! At first I was bummed. I'm a go, go, go person; sitting still is hard for me and after 4 months of training and seeing change, the last thing I wanted to do was quit for a week. But this is what I learned. . .
7 days of rest allows your joints and muscles to heal and relax from the regular demands of workouts. This helps reduce inflammation and puts your body into a refreshed state. Everybody reaches a place in training where the progress begins to slow down. Taking a week off can actually help stimulate progress. 7 days is not long enough to lose muscle mass, but it is long enough to make your muscles think this is a new way of doing things. Then, the next time you workout, the muscles get basically a shock and jump to attention. Thus, increased progress once again. Your muscles will respond faster after a break; giving you a greater output than someone who does not take a break. Less is More!! I am NOT a certified trainer or a medical professional, so this is simply my attempt at explaining things the way I understand them.
Why wouldn't this make sense? We are refreshed to go back to work after a week off, we are refreshed to start our week after a day off. Our bodies need rest. Our minds, emotions, muscles - all of us - NEED REST. It is strange not working out. I've decided to cut way back on cardio for the week too - I want my joints and muscles to really have this opportunity to heal completely. I'm enjoying my break, but I'm excited about jumping back in at the end of the week.
Rest is important. In fact, the Bible instructs us to take a day off every week to rest. Did you know that professional trainers recommend resting from workouts also? I love when the world lines up with the Word! My PT (personal trainer) recommends a week off every 4 months. I did some internet searching and others recommend as much as a week of every 2 - 3 months. Whether you take your break after 2, 3, or 4 months - most people agree you rest for 7 days; no weight or strength training of any kind. 7 days of rest! At first I was bummed. I'm a go, go, go person; sitting still is hard for me and after 4 months of training and seeing change, the last thing I wanted to do was quit for a week. But this is what I learned. . .
7 days of rest allows your joints and muscles to heal and relax from the regular demands of workouts. This helps reduce inflammation and puts your body into a refreshed state. Everybody reaches a place in training where the progress begins to slow down. Taking a week off can actually help stimulate progress. 7 days is not long enough to lose muscle mass, but it is long enough to make your muscles think this is a new way of doing things. Then, the next time you workout, the muscles get basically a shock and jump to attention. Thus, increased progress once again. Your muscles will respond faster after a break; giving you a greater output than someone who does not take a break. Less is More!! I am NOT a certified trainer or a medical professional, so this is simply my attempt at explaining things the way I understand them.
Why wouldn't this make sense? We are refreshed to go back to work after a week off, we are refreshed to start our week after a day off. Our bodies need rest. Our minds, emotions, muscles - all of us - NEED REST. It is strange not working out. I've decided to cut way back on cardio for the week too - I want my joints and muscles to really have this opportunity to heal completely. I'm enjoying my break, but I'm excited about jumping back in at the end of the week.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Whatever it Takes
There's a verse in proverbs that says "Pride goeth before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." I'm convinced that God helps me to never become prideful by allowing me to be humbled regularly. This is a big step for someone who has always been so concerned about what other people think. Embarassing things happen to me often. I've learned how to laugh at myself and thank Him for keeping me humble. There's not much chance of me becoming prideful when I keep doing such goofy things.
So of course I've said all this to share my latest experience. The problem is, I seem to have completely forgotten what it was I had planned to share. So now what? Seems like a pretty pointless message without a humorous story to complete it.
I can tell you this. The extended cold weather this year has effected my ability to dress with dignity. I go to the gym Wed - Sat. When it's cold out, our car sometimes won't start. To make it to class on time, I have to take my husbands scooter (mop-ed). Thursdays he takes the car out of town so I HAVE to take the scooter. Going down the road on a bike at 30 miles an hour in the wind is more than cold, it's absolutely painful.
So here's my routine: Wear spandex underneath sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt over my workout tops (I usually layer at least 2 tops to workout). If it's really cold I put jeans on over my sweats (my jeans are big enough to do that now!!) ; ) Then I have this huge winter coat I put on, wrap a 10 foot hot pink scarf around my nose/ mouth/ throat, put the hood up on my coat and tie that around my face, and add 2 pairs of cloth gloves. Do you know, by the time I get there, my fingers, legs, face, arms, and toes are so cold they hurt even with all the above?! So, basically by the time I'm done, I look like I have not lost any weight - I look hilarious with out the bright yellow scooter!!
I guess that's humbling enough for now. I got laughed at several times by various friends yesterday. I don't care. I guess that's dedication. Whatever it takes to move forward - pressing on toward the prize.
So of course I've said all this to share my latest experience. The problem is, I seem to have completely forgotten what it was I had planned to share. So now what? Seems like a pretty pointless message without a humorous story to complete it.
I can tell you this. The extended cold weather this year has effected my ability to dress with dignity. I go to the gym Wed - Sat. When it's cold out, our car sometimes won't start. To make it to class on time, I have to take my husbands scooter (mop-ed). Thursdays he takes the car out of town so I HAVE to take the scooter. Going down the road on a bike at 30 miles an hour in the wind is more than cold, it's absolutely painful.
So here's my routine: Wear spandex underneath sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt over my workout tops (I usually layer at least 2 tops to workout). If it's really cold I put jeans on over my sweats (my jeans are big enough to do that now!!) ; ) Then I have this huge winter coat I put on, wrap a 10 foot hot pink scarf around my nose/ mouth/ throat, put the hood up on my coat and tie that around my face, and add 2 pairs of cloth gloves. Do you know, by the time I get there, my fingers, legs, face, arms, and toes are so cold they hurt even with all the above?! So, basically by the time I'm done, I look like I have not lost any weight - I look hilarious with out the bright yellow scooter!!
I guess that's humbling enough for now. I got laughed at several times by various friends yesterday. I don't care. I guess that's dedication. Whatever it takes to move forward - pressing on toward the prize.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Ups and Downs, Pressing Through
So many things have run through my head in the last week. Not sure what to even focus on right now. I have experienced great victories and failures all in 1 week. There are days that I fail, days that I seem to have no willpower whatsoever and other days when I feel like I'm on top and programmed to win. So once again, the message seems to be; NEVER GIVE UP!
Examples: Thursday is my day to do laps and then workout at the gym. It seems that I forget something every time I go and there's the perfect excuse to quit! I'm learning to laugh at myself and the stuff that happens to me. I'm learning to not allow the little things to stop me from reaching my goal. So, on Thursday I swam 10 laps and changed to workout and realized I did not bring any gym pants!! Ever try exercising in heavy jeans? Well, I pressed through and did it. Wasn't that bad. It always feels good to overcome. Friday I had a great time in the 2 classes I take. My Tai Chi instructor asked what I do as an occupation because he is amazed at how fast I pick it up. YEAH!! Just think, one week before I was terrified to even step foot in the room! You just never know what you're capable of until you try. Saturday I have personal training at the gym. So I had a few great days. And then I went out of town. I dislike traveling because I want to eat all the time. I haven't figured out why - maybe it's boredom. Bottom line - I blew my diet Monday & Tuesday. I really felt it in my Tuesday night workout - just had no drive to do anything. That's why it's SO important to have some type of support and accountability when you try to make change in your life.
I admit it, sometimes I feel like giving up. Sometimes I want to give in to every food desire I have and eat until I throw up (or pass out). Think of me what you will, it's the truth. What matters is I haven't gone there. I've messed up at times but I haven't given up. I've now lost 71 pounds in 5 months and 81 pounds in the last year. That is amazing to me. There is no way that I ever could have accomplished this without God. If He be for me who can be against me? God is for you. You CAN do EVERYTHING HIS Word says you can do. INCLUDING honoring Him with your body. I still have over 100 pounds to lose. But I'm no longer looking at what I haven't done, I'm rejoicing in every little step that has been accomplished.
Learn from your mistakes. Be aware of old behaviors trying to sneak up on you. Don't allow one day to turn into another and then another. Remind yourself of what you've accomplished - or if you're just starting out, remind yourself of why you've decided to do this. You are important. You are valuable. You are worth it.
Examples: Thursday is my day to do laps and then workout at the gym. It seems that I forget something every time I go and there's the perfect excuse to quit! I'm learning to laugh at myself and the stuff that happens to me. I'm learning to not allow the little things to stop me from reaching my goal. So, on Thursday I swam 10 laps and changed to workout and realized I did not bring any gym pants!! Ever try exercising in heavy jeans? Well, I pressed through and did it. Wasn't that bad. It always feels good to overcome. Friday I had a great time in the 2 classes I take. My Tai Chi instructor asked what I do as an occupation because he is amazed at how fast I pick it up. YEAH!! Just think, one week before I was terrified to even step foot in the room! You just never know what you're capable of until you try. Saturday I have personal training at the gym. So I had a few great days. And then I went out of town. I dislike traveling because I want to eat all the time. I haven't figured out why - maybe it's boredom. Bottom line - I blew my diet Monday & Tuesday. I really felt it in my Tuesday night workout - just had no drive to do anything. That's why it's SO important to have some type of support and accountability when you try to make change in your life.
I admit it, sometimes I feel like giving up. Sometimes I want to give in to every food desire I have and eat until I throw up (or pass out). Think of me what you will, it's the truth. What matters is I haven't gone there. I've messed up at times but I haven't given up. I've now lost 71 pounds in 5 months and 81 pounds in the last year. That is amazing to me. There is no way that I ever could have accomplished this without God. If He be for me who can be against me? God is for you. You CAN do EVERYTHING HIS Word says you can do. INCLUDING honoring Him with your body. I still have over 100 pounds to lose. But I'm no longer looking at what I haven't done, I'm rejoicing in every little step that has been accomplished.
Learn from your mistakes. Be aware of old behaviors trying to sneak up on you. Don't allow one day to turn into another and then another. Remind yourself of what you've accomplished - or if you're just starting out, remind yourself of why you've decided to do this. You are important. You are valuable. You are worth it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)