My trainer cancelled today; said he wasn't feeling well. It was strange having Saturday off. This was the first Saturday we haven't met since I started working out. I've not been motivated this week at all so I was really needing this workout. Of course I didn't take the motivation to work out on my own. My husband came through today. He walked over a mile with me. We jogged one street of our walk. That was cool. I need to remember how thrilling it feels when I jog farther than I have ever before. That's what gets me back out there. I've been so off track this week. I walked 2 miles Thursday and worked out super hard with my trainer Tuesday night. That was about it for the entire week! Getting refocused. I wish I had accountability to get me to the YMCA. I have a membership, just haven't been able to push past the self conscious fear to try something new. I really should. It's just hard to do new things by yourself sometimes. Plus I'm not sure if I'm ready for group stuff - what if I can't keep up with anyone else yet? But it's not about them, it's about me. I need to keep going for myself. Easier said than done.
Spent some time praying last night and today. I've realized lately that I haven't been relying on God as much as I was before. That's a dangerous place to be - old thought patterns quickly try to sneak back in. "Don't count calories today, just eat what you want, finish your meal even though your not hungry, don't throw that away, yada yada yada. It can be very easy to slip back into those patterns. The ONLY way I have found to maintain my freedom is to run to God. To hide behind Him, to rely on His perfect strength. Already I feel stronger. It works. Tonight I wanted to eat extra. I've been praying, "God, be my perfect strength." It's working. Here I am - not at the fridge. His strength is made perfect in my weakness." Thank you Jesus!
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