OK, so once again today things went against me to keep me from pushing through. This time though I did not let it stop me. I've been questioning whether all this stuff is form God or the enemy - am I taking too much time for myself with exercise when I should be doing other things - or am I having resistance because I'm about to break through. Well, yesterday I shared this with my husband and as always he has a view that I don't usually think about. He said, "If you hadn't started doing what you're doing 5 months ago, you might not even be here right now. Do you think that was God's will for your life?" Hmmmmmm.......... there's a reason why I married him (actually, there's several! :D )
I know that God cares more about the internal and the eternal than the external, yet I believe He has me on this path for a reason and that it is becoming part of the ministry He has for me. SO, today I tried once again (3rd day in a row!) to conquer my fear and make it to the gym by myself. That may seem simple and ridiculous to some, but it's been a major struggle for me. The mind battle that I'm not in good enough shape, people will look at me, blah, blah, blah. Every time I've tried and things get in the way, I use it as an excuse to fail. And here we are at today.
My hubby works out of town on Thursdays so I have 3 choices: walk, drive the mop-ed, or stay home. I'm not real crazy about the mop-ed because I'm still kinda scared of leaving skin on pavement, but that was the only way to the gym so I did it. A few blocks from home this black cat starts running across the yard headed right for the street. I now if I hit it I'm wrecking so all I could do was pray, "God please don't let me hit that cat." There were cars behind me to. Trial #1. The cat runs right into the road, in the middle he turns back towards me, and at the last minute he turned back and finished to cross the road. Thank you Jesus!
I get to the gym, change, and head to the pool to do aerobics - just to find out the schedule is wrong and there are no aerobics at this time! Trial #2. So instead of heading home, I swam 10 laps and felt like that was a pretty good start. The fact that I got in the pool and did anything is great and especially since I've been slacking on my workouts/cardio lately. Then I changed and headed to the gym area for workout time. Except when I changed, I realized I did not bring an extra bra with me and the one I have is wet from the pool. (My suit is too big now so I have to make adjustments!) If I wear this one, it will soak my shirt and be quite noticeable. Trial #3. I tried to dry it with my hairdryer but it didn't work. I finally decided that I was not going to worry about what people thought or allow anything to send me home, so I pulled on 2 shirts and headed out. I had a great workout!
I feel fantastic! I feel healthy, alive, energized. I love how I feel after a workout. The hardest part is just pushing through to actually do it. I have been in a slump for over a month now - struggling to keep on this new journey. But I'm back on track and ready to run forward. I realize it won't always be easy, but I need to do this.
Whatever you facing in life; don't let the obstacles deter you and send you backwards. Keep going. There is breakthrough if keep our focus. Sometimes (often) God requires us to get out of our comfort zones in order to get to the next place. But I'm learning that comfort isn't always good - overcoming obstacles can be exciting. Comfort has kept me from realizing my potential for far too long. I'm going forward;; despite the obstacles.
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